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Post-loss Checklist: Step 3 - Funeral Planning

Post-loss Checklist: Step 3 - Funeral Planning

28th Dec 2023

Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of life's most challenging experiences. Amidst the grief and sorrow, making post-death arrangements can be overwhelming. In this comprehensive guide, we'll walk you through the crucial steps you need to take to plan a meaningful and personalized farewell for your loved one. Whether you're considering the events to host, delegating tasks, contacting religious leaders, or choosing the right location, we've got you covered. Let's honor your loved one's memory with a service that reflects their life and legacy.

  1. Look for Funeral Wishes
    Before planning a funeral or memorial event, checking if your loved one has any final wishes in place is essential. These wishes might be formally outlined in their will and testament, a legacy letter, or even documented in an end-of-life plan. Understanding their preferences regarding the funeral can help you craft a meaningful and personalized service. Here are some funeral ideas to consider
  2. Decide What Events to Host
    The first step in planning your loved one's funeral is to consider the events you'd like to include. There are many options; you can go as big or small as you like. You may desire a more traditional, somber event or a more upbeat celebration of life. End-of-life events to consider.
  3. Delegate Funeral Planning Tasks to Others
    As you'll quickly discover, planning a funeral is no small task. Now is the time to delegate, delegate, and delegate some more. You can handle some of these decisions and planning points alone. If you're overwhelmed, ask a trusted loved one, friend, or funeral home team member for help.
  4. Contact Clergy or Religious Leaders
    If you've decided to include religious elements within your loved one's funeral, reach out to their church or place of worship. Not only can they offer support during this difficult time, but they can assist with the planning and officiating of the funeral. Tips on officiating a funeral.
  5. Contact Funeral Home
    Your chosen funeral home will guide you through the funeral process from start to finish. In addition to helping you through the emotional burden of planning a funeral, they're also skilled at planning everything from funeral ceremonies to graveside services. Questions to Ask your funeral home.
  6. Choose Location for Events
    Where do you want to hold your loved one's funeral? Traditionally, this is held at a place of worship or the funeral home. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' choice, which can be an opportunity to express your loved one's personality by choosing somewhere meaningful.
  7. Schedule Event Dates and Times
    Once you've decided on a location for the funeral service, schedule the event date and time. It's common to hold the funeral soon after the death of a loved one, typically within two weeks. However, it's no reason to worry if this isn't possible. There is no strict timeline about when you need to hold the service. A guide on timing.
  8. Send Invitations
    When you invite loved ones to the funeral service, you include them in this important goodbye. As soon as you've chosen your location and date of service, send your invitations. Invite templates
  9. Invite People to Deliver Eulogies
    While a celebrant or officiant leads the majority of the funeral service, it's traditional to invite guests to give eulogies. If you're planning to include eulogies at your loved one's service, invite a few guests to speak. Giving them a notice in advance gives them time to prepare their words, whether they deliver a full speech or a short tribute. You might also wish to leave time for unexpected eulogies from other guests, but this depends on your unique schedule of events. How to write an eulogy. 
  10. Create Program for Event
    A funeral program is a clear schedule of events. These are commonly given to guests so they can follow along with the service. In addition, these serve as powerful mementos, letting guests hold onto a keepsake from the funeral service. Program templates.
  11. Prepare Photos & Videos
    The funeral is an opportunity to share memories, feelings, and connections with those closest to you. Including photos and videos of the deceased brings these emotions to life, rekindling the joy of someone's life for a few brief minutes. Whether you create your own memorial print, slideshow, or other DIY creation, gather photos and videos for the event. You can ask friends or family to share photos with you in advance, or you can look on their social media pages. A good rule of thumb is to include photos that capture all aspects of life, from the younger years to holidays. It's all about telling their story through their eyes. How to create a slideshow.
  12. Choose Music & Readings
    Music and literature are the languages of emotion. Sometimes it's not easy to put our thoughts, feelings, and grief into words. In these moments, we turn to the masters. Choosing special songs, readings, and prayers for the service give greater depth to a service, calling upon the voices of the greatest artists throughout history. Most of all, these songs and readings remind us that we're not alone in our experience. The best funeral music.
  13. Arrange for Flowers
    There's an entire language to flowers, and humans have used flowers to pay tribute to loved ones for centuries. Whether you're representing hope for tomorrow, your love, or support within the community, say it with flowers. Popular funeral flower ideas.
  14. Assign Pallbearers
    A pallbearer is someone who carries the casket, and this is considered an honor. Typically reserved for close friends and family of the deceased, assign pallbearers if you wish to include them within your service. Pallbearers guide.
  15. Arrange Refreshments
    While you aren't required to provide food and refreshments at the funeral service or repast, it's generally polite to do so.
  16. Ask Someone to Watch the House
    While most people respect each other during a loss, some criminals use obituaries to identify targets for burglary. It's a good idea to ask a neighbor or friend who won't be at the funeral to watch your and your loved one's homes. Having someone present will deter any ill-intentioned people from breaking in.

Planning a funeral is a deeply emotional and complex process. Still, by following these essential steps, you can create a meaningful and personalized farewell for your loved one. Start by looking for any funeral wishes they may have left behind, and then decide on the type of events you want to host, considering your loved one's personality and preferences. Delegating tasks and seeking support from friends, family, and professionals can alleviate some burdens during this challenging time.